Crashing down.

It has officially begun. Not three weeks ago, I was coming to terms with the fact that my 7-year assumption had been replaced with hardly nothing. In short, I assumed I was going to get a lead in my very last CTE show because A) I'd gotten leads before and was considered to be one of the "good" ones B) The adults (directing team, other parents, etc.) really do love me and C) All ninth graders get at least a small speaking part on their last show, it's just set in stone.

I.still.don't.under.stand.

I still had one hope - the next fall show for CTE's sister theatre group, FVTC (Fox Valley Theatre Company). And just now, I checked the website and it's ... Children of Eden.

The show where they make up things about the bible. A.k.a.? Blasphemy. My God is my God and in everything I do, I honor him. And this? Out of the question.

So my one solace has been torn down. Now what?

???

I can tell you one thing. This SUCKS. I HATE it. I hate to be blunt, I hate to be crude but it's true. All the other ninth graders are always talking, they're disrespectful, the boys flirt shamelessly with the girls and vice versa. Not to say I don't love a good amount of them, quite dearly in fact. But I never talk, I always pay attention, I treat this like a career and not Social Hour. And guess what? Back in June, they all got SOLOS and I did NOT. They reward bad behaviour. And I've had enough.

Off to bed.